“People who stop laughing are always the ones who get hurt.”
Sometimes I believe the only way I get through much of life, is to laugh through it. In my saddest, darkest moments, if I find a way to laugh, I can feel the hurt disappear. If I fuel my pain with more pain, I feel as if I am sinking further into the hurt. But if I surround myself with things that make me laugh, I know I will be ok. I think this is also why my defense mechanism when others are hurt is to try to make them laugh (even if it is at me!)
As long as I continue to let myself laugh and smile, I believe I will be able to get through all the pain and hurt life has to offer.
“She didn’t understand that. “How can anyone be afraid of love?” “How can they not?” His face was completely aghast. “When you love someone… truly love them, friend or lover, you lay your heart open to them. You give them a part of yourself that you give to no one else, and you let them inside a part of you that only they can hurt—you literally hand them the razor with a map of where to cut deepest and most painfully on your heart and soul. And when they do strike, it’s crippling—like having your heart carved out. It leaves you naked and exposed, wondering what you did to make them want to hurt you so badly when all you did was love them. What is so wrong with you that no one can keep faith with you? That no one can love you? To have it happen once is bad enough… but to have it repeated? Who in their right mind would not be terrified of that?”
Love is a scary thing, not just romantic love but any kind of love. To love someone you have to open your heart, which can leave it vulnerable. They say it is the ones that ar closest to us that can hurt us the worst, and that is true. When this happens, someone you loved who has hurt you, you are left with so many questions to why. If a stranger or an enemy did this to you it wouldn’t be bad, but for someone who you love, who you gave access to your heart to hurt you are left in confusion of what you did wrong and why they chose to hurt you. And once you have been hurt, the idea of letting someone else in seems insane because the chance of repeating that hurt is unbearable. As difficult as is, sometimes you have to decide if the chance of finding and keeping love is worth the risk of having your heartbroken. You may shield your heart from hurt, but in doing so you also shield it from love.
“I’m unhappy. I don’t want to fall in love with you. It’ll hurt far too much when it’s over”
~The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet’s Nest
I once heard someone say that it is the person that can make you feel the best, that also has the ability to make you feel the worst. To me this applies to any relationship, not just with the romantic kind. Love is a difficult thing because you are giving a part of yourself to someone else, and if that is taken away or abused for any reason the hurt left behind is terrible.
Sometimes it may feel it is easier just not to show or fall in love. If you don’t put your heart out there, it can’t get hurt can it. There have been a few times in my life after I was hurt by someone I loved, or at least felt I could love, where I wondered if it was even worth the pain. It sure seemed to hurt a lot less before I put myself in a position to get hurt. Once you have experienced that pain, the idea of going through it again doesn’t seem appealing. And there are no guarantees in life that someone won’t hurt you.
I guess it just comes down to whether you believe the potential positives that will come from giving your love to someone outweighs the potential hurt that will come if it ends. If you believe the person if worth it, then so is the pain.