“It’s nonverbal: I need love. I need the thing that happens when your brain shuts off and your heart turns on.”
“She didn’t understand that. “How can anyone be afraid of love?” “How can they not?” His face was completely aghast. “When you love someone… truly love them, friend or lover, you lay your heart open to them. You give them a part of yourself that you give to no one else, and you let them inside a part of you that only they can hurt—you literally hand them the razor with a map of where to cut deepest and most painfully on your heart and soul. And when they do strike, it’s crippling—like having your heart carved out. It leaves you naked and exposed, wondering what you did to make them want to hurt you so badly when all you did was love them. What is so wrong with you that no one can keep faith with you? That no one can love you? To have it happen once is bad enough… but to have it repeated? Who in their right mind would not be terrified of that?”
Love is a scary thing, not just romantic love but any kind of love. To love someone you have to open your heart, which can leave it vulnerable. They say it is the ones that ar closest to us that can hurt us the worst, and that is true. When this happens, someone you loved who has hurt you, you are left with so many questions to why. If a stranger or an enemy did this to you it wouldn’t be bad, but for someone who you love, who you gave access to your heart to hurt you are left in confusion of what you did wrong and why they chose to hurt you. And once you have been hurt, the idea of letting someone else in seems insane because the chance of repeating that hurt is unbearable. As difficult as is, sometimes you have to decide if the chance of finding and keeping love is worth the risk of having your heartbroken. You may shield your heart from hurt, but in doing so you also shield it from love.