“And when at last you find someone to whom you feel you can pour out your soul, you stop in shock at the words you utter— they are so rusty, so ugly, so meaningless and feeble from being kept in the small cramped dark inside you so long.”
“Do not apologize for crying. Without this emotion, we are only robots.”
I’ve never been good at crying, at letting my emotions out. I am that person who bottles everything up. I wear a smile not just for the world to believe, but also in a way for myself. By masking my emotions and holding in the tears I didn’t have to feel the things I knew would hurt. For a long time, I felt as if by crying, I was showing weakness, and that was unacceptable. How could I be strong enough to take care of myself if I let myself give into what I felt was a weakness. Letting someone else see me cry of course was completely out of the picture. Crying openly in front of someone is exposing your emotions and can make you feel very vulnerable. It has taken me a very long time to realize that it is ok to show your emotions and feelings, not just to others but to yourself as well. Emotions and feelings are not a weakness. They can be a strength. Emotions make us real. Feelings make us real. It is not until we willingly let these emotions out, that we are able to make room for what makes us happy.