Day 53 ~ Evermore

“I guess by now I should know enough about loss to realize that you never really stop missing someone-you just learn to live around the huge gaping hole of their absence.” 

Losing someone, through death, separation or distance, is never easy. For awhile they were such a part of your life whether small or large. Maybe this was a person who you saw everyday, someone you had some kind of ritual or shared time with. A person who at the time they were in your life you never thought of when they wouldn’t be there anymore because they were just always there. Even when you know it won’t be forever, because really what is, it doesn’t change the feeling that you are missing a part of your life as one may feel towards a phantom limb. It feels like something should be there, but there isn’t. The moments and times you took for granted when you had that person in your presence now feels like an empty hole.

I often think these feeling will go away, but the slightest object, word, event, can trigger a memory and I will feel myself missing someone so bad. I will hear a song on the radio, stumble across a picture on the internet that reminds me of a joke, see something that reminds me of the person because somehow it was ours.

But even when the feeling of missing someone hurts, I have to go on. I have no intention of forgetting them, but I instead find ways to fill the empty feeling until it doesn’t hurt as much. Sometimes I will still be struck with that intense feeling of missing someone even after years at the slightest moment, but these moments lessen over time and I find I can still go on even though I will always miss them.